So, the surgeon didn't know why I'm still in so much pain. He thinks it could be due to frankenstomach/intestinal ulcerations. Now I'm on Prevacid Sol-Tabs that cost me $150 for a 30 day supply... that's WITH insurance. The generic was pulled from the shelves, so I'm forced to buy the brand name. This is the final option in a long line of acid blockers I have tried. I do seem to tolerate them much better than the other ones, so at least they stay down most of the time.
I have another EGD scheduled for 4/13 to check and see if this has healed anything, or more likely, if it has began healing things. I still may need a surgery to remove the permanent stitching. The surgeon believes that the stitching may be causing some of the ulcer problems I've been having.
I'm still mainly on a soft diet... mostly protein shakes and chili (very mild, I can't see to eat anything spicy), cheese, and sugarfree pudding. I get adventurous now and then and try to eat something a bit more solid, but my frankenstomach usually just sends it back up.
On the positive side, I'm down over 140 lbs and looking into buying some size 14 jeans... I still have trouble seeing it. I get a little freaked out by the mirror sometimes. Just waiting for my brain to catch up, I guess. I read in a blog long ago that surgery is the easy part, the hard part is working with your non-modified brain. Brain modification is difficult.
So, almost 11 months after my first surgery, I'm still never hungry. I have to remind myself to eat by watching the clock. Every 3 hours or so, I have to eat something or I tend to get light-headed. Getting fluids in isn't too bad most days, but eating is still really difficult for me. My relationship with food has changed sooo much. It used to be a friend... a comfort. Now I must eat to live. Food is fuel. It's a necessary evil in my daily routine. Sometimes, food isn't too bad. Some days, I hate food. Seriously hate it. Now when I'm angry or sad or depressed I have to face and deal with it. It was so much easier to just bury myself in a pint of ice cream or a bag of cookies. I no longer have that option. It has taught me a lot about my emotions and my reactions to them. Taking food out of the equation has completely changed my coping mechanisms. It makes dealing with teenagers that much harder. But I have to. So I'm trying to learn as I go. What else can I do...?
So, I'm just trucking along... waiting to stop vomiting. Once I stop vomiting so much, I can go back to work. I miss work. I don't necessarily miss my job, per se, but I miss being a productive member of society. Some days I feel useless. I have deemed myself CouchLump on those days. I think a lot of the anger and depression will go away as soon as I can get back to some semblance of "normal" in my day to day. Until then, I deal...
I have another EGD scheduled for 4/13 to check and see if this has healed anything, or more likely, if it has began healing things. I still may need a surgery to remove the permanent stitching. The surgeon believes that the stitching may be causing some of the ulcer problems I've been having.
I'm still mainly on a soft diet... mostly protein shakes and chili (very mild, I can't see to eat anything spicy), cheese, and sugarfree pudding. I get adventurous now and then and try to eat something a bit more solid, but my frankenstomach usually just sends it back up.
On the positive side, I'm down over 140 lbs and looking into buying some size 14 jeans... I still have trouble seeing it. I get a little freaked out by the mirror sometimes. Just waiting for my brain to catch up, I guess. I read in a blog long ago that surgery is the easy part, the hard part is working with your non-modified brain. Brain modification is difficult.
So, almost 11 months after my first surgery, I'm still never hungry. I have to remind myself to eat by watching the clock. Every 3 hours or so, I have to eat something or I tend to get light-headed. Getting fluids in isn't too bad most days, but eating is still really difficult for me. My relationship with food has changed sooo much. It used to be a friend... a comfort. Now I must eat to live. Food is fuel. It's a necessary evil in my daily routine. Sometimes, food isn't too bad. Some days, I hate food. Seriously hate it. Now when I'm angry or sad or depressed I have to face and deal with it. It was so much easier to just bury myself in a pint of ice cream or a bag of cookies. I no longer have that option. It has taught me a lot about my emotions and my reactions to them. Taking food out of the equation has completely changed my coping mechanisms. It makes dealing with teenagers that much harder. But I have to. So I'm trying to learn as I go. What else can I do...?
So, I'm just trucking along... waiting to stop vomiting. Once I stop vomiting so much, I can go back to work. I miss work. I don't necessarily miss my job, per se, but I miss being a productive member of society. Some days I feel useless. I have deemed myself CouchLump on those days. I think a lot of the anger and depression will go away as soon as I can get back to some semblance of "normal" in my day to day. Until then, I deal...
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