Yep.. I blame my brain.
I went to see the surgeon on Wednesday for my Gastroparesis follow-up. I let him know that the Reglan was not as effective as he had hoped it would be. It didn't taste too horrible, but I was still getting sick about 50% of the time. Me and my big mouth... So, he switched my meds from Reglan to Bentyl. This is a GI anti-spasmotic, supposed to even out the motions of the whole GI tract. And it tastes horrible. It's the same color as Reglan, and just about the same texture, but it just tastes like bitter, and leaves a nice coating of nastiness that doesn't seem to wash off. It make everything taste horrible for the next 30 minutes. I've tried drinking a chaser, I've tried mixing it with juices, I've tried brushing my teeth. Nope. Everything is bitter and nasty after Bentyl. On the upside, I have yet to vomit up the Bentyl, and it seems to be working as well as the Reglan was. So, I'll take it. It's not any worse than it was. I'm good with that for now.
I explained that I was feeling "full" after just a bite or two of food. My doc asked if I was "full" or just "done." I thought that was a weird question until I thought about it. Yep, I was feeling like I'm done. Not really physically full. He explained that since I've been sick for so long, my brain has now wired me to believe that after two bites, I'm pushing my luck. The more bites I take, the more likely I am to get sick. My brain says it would rather starve me than have me puke anymore. So now I have to fight my brain and try to eat at least 1/4 cup of food at a time. My brain doesn't want to eat anymore. Stoopid brain. I'm going to stab it with a Q-Tip if it doesn't start cooperating with me...
My abdominal pain is still rather unexplained. He said perhaps after the 5 surgeries and all the poking and prodding and cutting I've been though, I might have some kind of over-scarring or an adhesion that isn't showing up on the scans. If my pain continues, he's thinking of doing an abdominal exploratory surgery to try and find the source of my pain. Since it is rather localized in the center of my abdomen, he's hopeful that it won't take too much exploring. In the meantime, I was told to take more pain meds. I got another lecture about being "too stoic" and that taking pain meds is not a weakness, blah, blah, blah. He did, again, add that I'm the only patient he's ever had that has to be told to take MORE narcotics. Usually, he has the patients that take too much narcotics. I reminded him that I do not want to become one of the narcotic addicts. That scares the beejeebies out of me. I'd rather be in pain and getting the laundry done than be pain-free and drooling on the couch. He gave me a refill for my pain meds and instructed my husband that he's allowed to spike my water now and then... Cripes.
I've been adventurous lately and delving more into solid foods. Mushy stuff is boring me to tears. I figure if I keep it down, great. If I don't, at least I got to enjoy it the first time. I'm gonna puke now and then anyways, I might as well enjoy some food when my stoopid rebellious brain will let me... Now if I could just eat some ice cream... Man, I miss ice cream....
I went to see the surgeon on Wednesday for my Gastroparesis follow-up. I let him know that the Reglan was not as effective as he had hoped it would be. It didn't taste too horrible, but I was still getting sick about 50% of the time. Me and my big mouth... So, he switched my meds from Reglan to Bentyl. This is a GI anti-spasmotic, supposed to even out the motions of the whole GI tract. And it tastes horrible. It's the same color as Reglan, and just about the same texture, but it just tastes like bitter, and leaves a nice coating of nastiness that doesn't seem to wash off. It make everything taste horrible for the next 30 minutes. I've tried drinking a chaser, I've tried mixing it with juices, I've tried brushing my teeth. Nope. Everything is bitter and nasty after Bentyl. On the upside, I have yet to vomit up the Bentyl, and it seems to be working as well as the Reglan was. So, I'll take it. It's not any worse than it was. I'm good with that for now.
I explained that I was feeling "full" after just a bite or two of food. My doc asked if I was "full" or just "done." I thought that was a weird question until I thought about it. Yep, I was feeling like I'm done. Not really physically full. He explained that since I've been sick for so long, my brain has now wired me to believe that after two bites, I'm pushing my luck. The more bites I take, the more likely I am to get sick. My brain says it would rather starve me than have me puke anymore. So now I have to fight my brain and try to eat at least 1/4 cup of food at a time. My brain doesn't want to eat anymore. Stoopid brain. I'm going to stab it with a Q-Tip if it doesn't start cooperating with me...
My abdominal pain is still rather unexplained. He said perhaps after the 5 surgeries and all the poking and prodding and cutting I've been though, I might have some kind of over-scarring or an adhesion that isn't showing up on the scans. If my pain continues, he's thinking of doing an abdominal exploratory surgery to try and find the source of my pain. Since it is rather localized in the center of my abdomen, he's hopeful that it won't take too much exploring. In the meantime, I was told to take more pain meds. I got another lecture about being "too stoic" and that taking pain meds is not a weakness, blah, blah, blah. He did, again, add that I'm the only patient he's ever had that has to be told to take MORE narcotics. Usually, he has the patients that take too much narcotics. I reminded him that I do not want to become one of the narcotic addicts. That scares the beejeebies out of me. I'd rather be in pain and getting the laundry done than be pain-free and drooling on the couch. He gave me a refill for my pain meds and instructed my husband that he's allowed to spike my water now and then... Cripes.
I've been adventurous lately and delving more into solid foods. Mushy stuff is boring me to tears. I figure if I keep it down, great. If I don't, at least I got to enjoy it the first time. I'm gonna puke now and then anyways, I might as well enjoy some food when my stoopid rebellious brain will let me... Now if I could just eat some ice cream... Man, I miss ice cream....
Brains can be little bastards - most of the time they are stubborn. I support the Q-Tip idea.
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