Nothing really new going on over here. I have to go to the nutritionist on Monday. I'm so looking forward to that... I'm still getting under 800 calories a day, my average day is about 600. I'm still bringing back 30-50% of my intake, including liquids. I'm still in a pretty good amount of pain. Nothing has changed very much.
My "twanging" pain is getting a little stronger. I can actually watch my abdomen jump sometimes. It almost feels like a good, strong baby kick. When I press my hand to the center of my abdomen, where my "stomach" actually is now, I can feel my heartbeat... kind of like when you sprain your ankle and it throbs every time your heart beats... Yep. Like that. All the time.
I'm going back to see the surgeon for a follow up on September 5th. Until then, I'm just trying to stay medicated and keep eating. I'm still on mostly soft foods and protein shakes. I have figured out that I can eat almost 1/4 cup of peanuts or almonds at a time, but I have to chew incredibly well. They always come back up, so chewing is important or it's kind of like vomiting gravel. Ouch. Vomiting almond butter isn't quite as bad.
I never thought that vomiting everything I eat or drink would be my "normal." I've done this for so long that I'm used to it. I'm surprised when food or drink DOESN'T come back up. I've grown accustomed to my medically induced eating disorder. I suppose sooner or later I'm going to have to face the toll that this past year has taken on my dental health... I've put that on the back burner for now. No sense getting the damage repaired only to keep vomiting for another year...
I'm still rather down about the whole situation, but I have climbed most of the way out of my hole. I know that there are things that need to be done, kids that need to be tended to, laundry that needs to be washed, etc. I'm functioning pretty well on most days. I'm still thinking about going to talk to a shrink, but I haven't convinced myself that yet another doctor would help things yet. I'm very lucky to have a good support system in place. My hubby and my in-laws are great, very supportive and they listen to as much as I can vent and whine. I really don't know what I'd do without them.
So, there is my non-update update. Nothing new to see here. Carry on.
My "twanging" pain is getting a little stronger. I can actually watch my abdomen jump sometimes. It almost feels like a good, strong baby kick. When I press my hand to the center of my abdomen, where my "stomach" actually is now, I can feel my heartbeat... kind of like when you sprain your ankle and it throbs every time your heart beats... Yep. Like that. All the time.
I'm going back to see the surgeon for a follow up on September 5th. Until then, I'm just trying to stay medicated and keep eating. I'm still on mostly soft foods and protein shakes. I have figured out that I can eat almost 1/4 cup of peanuts or almonds at a time, but I have to chew incredibly well. They always come back up, so chewing is important or it's kind of like vomiting gravel. Ouch. Vomiting almond butter isn't quite as bad.
I never thought that vomiting everything I eat or drink would be my "normal." I've done this for so long that I'm used to it. I'm surprised when food or drink DOESN'T come back up. I've grown accustomed to my medically induced eating disorder. I suppose sooner or later I'm going to have to face the toll that this past year has taken on my dental health... I've put that on the back burner for now. No sense getting the damage repaired only to keep vomiting for another year...
I'm still rather down about the whole situation, but I have climbed most of the way out of my hole. I know that there are things that need to be done, kids that need to be tended to, laundry that needs to be washed, etc. I'm functioning pretty well on most days. I'm still thinking about going to talk to a shrink, but I haven't convinced myself that yet another doctor would help things yet. I'm very lucky to have a good support system in place. My hubby and my in-laws are great, very supportive and they listen to as much as I can vent and whine. I really don't know what I'd do without them.
So, there is my non-update update. Nothing new to see here. Carry on.
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