I Hate New Doctors...

My primary doctor has moved out of state.  I liked her.  She got me.  I needed to see a doc since I started getting these little itchy red patches above my elbows.  Most people that lose a lot of weight have skin issues from the loose skin on their abdomen.  They develop rashes and itchies where the "Abdominal apron" hangs over.  Me, I gotta be weird.  I have itchy patches from the loose armflaps hanging down.  Yeah, I know...

So yeah, sure, I'll just schedule an appointment with my old doc's replacement. 

My new primary doc is a moron.  She was nice enough, very cordial and professional.  I explained that my meds were all in non-solid form since I have no stomach tissue left.  I explained that her computer numbers were correct, and I had indeed lost about 90 pounds since my last visit in October.  I told her about the loose skin and my itchy elbows.  She thinks I have exzema.  Really?  Now she wants me to strip so she can look for other patches.  Nope, no other patches.  Just the weird "look, my loose skin hits this spot" patches.  Really, lady, I know what's doing it now how do I fix it!?!?
 
I asked for my anxiety meds to be refilled, since I haven't had them filled since October.  She asked if I was feeling depressed.  I answered with "Well, some days I want to jump in front of a bus, but luckily I'm too tired to get off of the couch."  She didn't understand my sense of humor and now wants me to go see a shrink.  She said "If I give you an Rx for 90 pills, are you sure you won't take them all at once?"  "Geez, lady.  Have you seen them?  They're in individual blister packs with paper backing, it would take me hours just to unwrap 90 of them!"   Again... she didn't get it.  So, now my medical record says that I'm SquirrelNutZipperCrazy and I need a shrink.  My last primary doc would have laughed.  I miss her.  *grumblegrumble*

I think it's time to check my insurance website and see where I can find a new primary doc with some common sense...

Meh.

Nothing really new going on over here.  I have to go to the nutritionist on Monday.  I'm so looking forward to that...  I'm still getting under 800 calories a day, my average day is about 600.  I'm still bringing back 30-50% of my intake, including liquids.  I'm still in a pretty good amount of pain.  Nothing has changed very much.

My "twanging" pain is getting a little stronger.  I can actually watch my abdomen jump sometimes.  It almost feels like a good, strong baby kick.  When I press my hand to the center of my abdomen, where my "stomach" actually is now, I can feel my heartbeat... kind of like when you sprain your ankle and it throbs every time your heart beats... Yep.  Like that.  All the time.

I'm going back to see the surgeon for a follow up on September 5th.  Until then, I'm just trying to stay medicated and keep eating.  I'm still on mostly soft foods and protein shakes.  I have figured out that I can eat almost 1/4 cup of peanuts or almonds at a time, but I have to chew incredibly well.  They always come back up, so chewing is important or it's kind of like vomiting gravel.  Ouch.  Vomiting almond butter isn't quite as bad.

I never thought that vomiting everything I eat or drink would be my "normal."   I've done this for so long that I'm used to it.  I'm surprised when food or drink DOESN'T come back up.  I've grown accustomed to my medically induced eating disorder.  I suppose sooner or later I'm going to have to face the toll that this past year has taken on my dental health... I've put that on the back burner for now.  No sense getting the damage repaired only to keep vomiting for another year...

I'm still rather down about the whole situation, but I have climbed most of the way out of my hole.  I know that there are things that need to be done, kids that need to be tended to, laundry that needs to be washed, etc.  I'm functioning pretty well on most days.  I'm still thinking about going to talk to a shrink, but I haven't convinced myself that yet another doctor would help things yet.  I'm very lucky to have a good support system in place.  My hubby and my in-laws are great, very supportive and they listen to as much as I can vent and whine.  I really don't know what I'd do without them.

So, there is my non-update update.  Nothing new to see here.  Carry on.

New Comparison Pic...

So, I decided today to update my MyFitnessPal.com profile pic since it's been quite some time.  After putting a new pic up, I got a few requests to bring back the goofy hat that I wore in my old avvie pic.  I went hunting around and dug out the raccoon hat to comply with the requests.  After putting them side by side, I think that my old pic looks better.  I miss my cute chubbiness.  This makes me kind of sad.  In less than 10 months, my face has changed so much... and I'm not sure I'm happy about it.  I put my MFP avvie back to the old pic.  The new one makes me kind of sad...